The unity candle ceremony can be a wonderful addition to the ceremony itself and is at the very essence of the two of you joining your lives on your new journey together. In preparation, three candles are needed. Two taper candles representing the couple’s two separate lives are placed to the left and right of one larger or different color candle, known as the unity candle.

Before the ceremony begins, place these candles on a small table near the altar. Prior to the ceremony, it is a good idea to light the wicks for a just a moment. This will allow your candles to light much more easily. This is also a great time to make sure that you have a lighter or matches available.

There are several options for lighting you taper candles.
• You can have your mother or both parents come forward to light the side tapers. This symbolizes your two families coming together as one. At this point, some couples choose to present their mothers with a white rose.
• The minister or best man and the maid of honor can light the tapers.
• The two of you may choose to light the tapers yourselves.

Usually during the processional, each set of parents/mothers light a taper candle. They return to their seats, and the tapers remain lit throughout the ceremony.

The center candle, the unity candle itself, is usually lit directly after you exchange your vows and rings or after the pronouncement of your marriage. Each of you will take your respective taper candle and light the unlit unity candle at the same time, symbolizing that your lives are now becoming one.

To Extinguish or Not to Extinguish

When it comes to your unity candle ceremony, this is many times the question. Some feel that that the taper candles should be extinguished, symbolizing your commitment to one another. Another option is to keep the taper candles lit to emphasize your individuality within your union.

If you choose to extinguish your tapers, try this reading:

As [Name] and [Name] together light the center candle, they will extinguish their own candles, thus letting the unity candle symbolize the sacred union of their lives. As this one light cannot be divided, neither will their lives be divided.

If you'd prefer to leave your tapers lit, try this reading:

[Name] and [Name] come into their marriage relationship as individuals and they do not lose their identity, rather they use their individuality to create and strengthen the relationship of marriage. Therefore, the three candles remain lighted, one for each of them and one for their marriage, as symbols of their commitment to each other and to a lasting and loving marriage.

Whether or not you extinguish the taper candles is your personal decision and, is entirely up to you. There is no right or wrong way. Let your hearts guide you as to what you feel best represents your "sacred union."